


give you my sunshine, give you my best

by Anonymous



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:49:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28734468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: The thing is,the thing is, he’d meant to say “I love you too.” Because of course he had. And he does. He loves Sykkuno, he knows he does. And heknowsSykkuno knows it too. But the moment was gone, and Sykkuno hadn’t brought it up again, probably out of his stupid habit of respecting Corpse’s boundaries, one that he was infinitely grateful for, except right this second. Now that the moment has passed he’s thought about it every which way and there’s no doubt. He loves Sykkuno. He’s probably always going to love Sykkuno right until they’re old and wrinkly, and isn’t that something?
Relationships: Corpse Husband/Sykkuno (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 33
Kudos: 532
Collections: Anonymous





	give you my sunshine, give you my best

**Author's Note:**

> quarantine led me to watch among us streams and then before i knew it, i was hooked!! as always, please respect the fact that this is completely fictional and based on their online personas, please don’t harass them about any of this <3
> 
> title is from peace by taylor swift and i know there’s a couple other stories posted anonymously but this is my first and if i write more it’ll be continued here as a series!

The thing is, _the thing is_ , that Corpse had _told_ him when they started ~this. He remembers it vividly, one rainy afternoon in February. Right after Sykkuno had somehow let it slip that his feelings for Corpse were most definitely Not Entirely Platonic, and then in typical Sykkuno fashion had proceeded to explain and also somehow backtrack at the same time and Corpse thinks it was a temporary moment of insanity when he said he felt the same way. He’s not sure what came over him, maybe it’d been too long since his last relationship, maybe it was the months of basking in the feeling that came with being friends with Sykkuno while crushing pretty hard, maybe it was a less intrusive mental health day. But even as they talked about it (because of course Sykkuno wanted to have extensive discussions about what Corpse was comfortable with, why had he ever expected anything less from him?), Corpse had told him, clear as day. 

_Are you sure you want this? I don’t just have bad days sometimes Sykkuno, I have bad days and then worse days with some good days in between. And sometimes I drop off the grid and sometimes I’m curt and it’s probably not fun on a day to day basis._

He’d been clear and truthful, Sykkuno deserved to know what he was getting into, and the option to back out if he really needed it. It was early enough that they could probably go right back to being friends and get over this hiccup. But somehow, miraculously, he’d stayed. _Continues_ to stay, two years later. Corpse has never understood it, but over the past year, he’s stopped trying to. He may be fucked in the head but even he understands that Sykkuno is an adult who can make his own decisions. Even if none of them make any sense to Corpse. Like when Sykkuno was happy doing nothing more than the occasional hand-holding when they started dating because physical intimacy, too much too quick, easily overstimulated Corpse.

It’s not that he hasn’t dated before, or that people he’s dated have been less understanding of his ~general everything~. But privately, and sometimes in his worst moments even today, Corpse thinks Sykkuno deserves better. Someone who matches his sunshine with sunshine, someone who gives out his smiles, his kindness, and his patience just as freely as he does. But he chose Corpse. Has chosen him every day since then, much to Corpse’s befuddlement.

Corpse thinks back to their first year and it’s like it happened last week, so much of it is imprinted in his mind to this day, little details that by any accord other people in relationships forget, but he recalls it all. And he knows why. It’s because he spent the entire first year waiting for the other shoe to drop. He remembers when Sykkuno visited him, the way he fit in his couch, the way he looked in Corpse’s kitchen and the way he smiled, uncovered, just for Corpse. He remembers the sweaty hand-holding and the late-night takeout and the first time Sykkuno made dumplings and the kindness with which he was treated even on his worst days. He remembers it because he’d had a near constant thought in his head, that first year. A mantra, if you will. _Remember this. Remember this because someday he’s not going to be around anymore and this is too important to forget._

But Sykkuno had stayed. He doesn’t think he ever told Sykkuno at the time, but every time he had a really bad day in that first year his first thought had always been that maybe _this time_ was the last straw. That he’d asked for too much or had given too little and surely _now_ Sykkuno would realize what’s out there for him. Corpse knows there are better guys out there. Guys who don’t mind holding hands in public and guys who take their boyfriends out on dates that don’t involve masks or anonymity. Guys who kiss on the first date and don’t have days where they don’t get out of bed all day, if not all week. Somehow his boyfriend had sensed all this anyway. For all that Sykkuno did to make people around him happy, for all his exuberance, he had anxiety too. A sense of hyper vigilance, always able to sense the slightest shift in moods, and always oddly perceptive of Corpse’s.

_They’re watching Die Hard, sitting side by side, pressed up against each other as they wolf down the pizza, when Sykkuno brings it up._

_“You know, sometimes it feels like you’re waiting for me to mess this up somehow,” he mumbles, his voice tenuous and his gaze fixed on the half eaten slice of pizza._

_Corpse thinks he’s going to be dizzy with how fast his stomach drops. Is this what Sykkuno has been thinking all along? That Corpse was somehow waiting for him to fuck up and call it quits?_

_“That’s not — Sykkuno I’m not waiting — what the fuck?”_

_“I mean you have bad days sometimes, and of course that’s okay, I do my best to be there for you or if we ever argue, I don’t know. You just get this look —sometimes, on your face and I just— I feel like I’m missing something. Or maybe I’m doing something wrong. Am I? You can tell me, I promise. I can work on—“_

_“Stop, Sy— I don’t—I’m not waiting—fuck. I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry, fuck.”_

_“You don’t have to apologize, I know you care about me, about_ us _, but if something’s wrong, I—“ he cuts off, swallowing thickly. “If something’s wrong we can—I can fix it. If it’s, if it’s fixable.”_

_“That’s not—,” he exhales loudly, trying to find the words to explain. He sets the pizza aside and Sykkuno mirrors him before they turn to face each other. Corpse winces at how upset this is clearly making Sykkuno. He’d done this. Yet another thing he’d fucked up._

_“Sy, I’m not waiting for you to fuck up,” he begins and Sykkuno looks up at him, surprised._

_“You’re—you’re not? But then what—“_

_“It’s me, Sy. I’m waiting for_ me _to fuck this up. And maybe bracing for when you decide you’ve had enough,” he whispers, the words spilling out, unbridled._

_At this, Sykkuno’s face softens although he still looks pained. Corpse squeezes his eyes shut and then opens them, looking down at his hands as he fiddles with his rings._

_“Is that what you think of me?” Sykkuno asks, soft enough that Corpse knows he’s not really offended._

_“It’s what I think of_ me _,” he replies._

_Sykkuno presses closer, his knees bumping into Corpse’s. “Can I touch you?”_

_Corpse nods, finally looking at him while Sykkuno takes his hands into his own. Corpse lets some of the warmth seep in, intertwines their fingers, making Sykkuno smile._

_“You think I’d leave you over a bad day or two?” he asks Corpse, his voice small, a little hurt, but not lacking in kindness. Never lacking in kindness._

_“I think this could be easier for you with other people.”_

_Sykkuno rubs small circles into Corpse’s wrist and Corpse watches him take a deep breath, bracing for whatever he says next._

_“It could be. But it wouldn’t be the same, would it? Because it wouldn’t be you,” he says. “You think you don’t add value to my life? Corpse, that’s crazy. Do you know how anxious I get? How I obsessively try to keep people around me happy, try to regulate their well-being like it’s in my hands and I—I do it to the point it’s terrible for_ my _well-being. You know who taught me to realize when I was running low? You did. I see you and I see how you take time when you need it, even when you’re with me. I see that and I think oh. I should do that when I’m overwhelmed. I got back into photography because of you. Because you taught me I don’t need to fear being by myself. And I haven’t even gotten into the relationship stuff,” he finishes, huffing out a disbelieving laugh._

_Sykkuno slips one hand out of where Corpse is practically clutching it and uses it to tip Corpse’s chin up. “Look at me. The people in your life are in your life because they care about you. Because they love y—because they love having you in theirs. You’re not a burden, Corpse.”_

_Corpse doesn’t really know what to say to that, he’s still reeling from Sykkuno speaking so passionately about the value Corpse adds to his life. Imagine that, he thinks. Pretty unbelievable._

_“That’s—that’s not easy for me to believe,” he says finally, eyes blinking back tears he’s just noticing._

_“I know. But can you believe that if I ever think something’s not working I’ll bring it up?”_

_Corpse nods, and Sykkuno cups the side of his face, his thumb brushing over Corpse’s cheek. Corpse leans into the movement, watching his boyfriend’s face soften with every sweep of his thumb._

_“My first instinct is never going to be to break up with you, Corpse,” Sykkuno continues. “I lo—like you too much for that, you know?”_

_“Yeah I— I get that. Me too,” he mumbles, cheeks flushing, making Sykkuno smile._

It’s been a little under a year since that night, Corpse thinks, as he muddles around the kitchen, cleaning up a little and taking his meds. Six months ago, Sykkuno had moved in, after a lot of discussion about what was best for them. Looking back, Corpse thinks they were so apprehensive for nothing. Sykkuno fits into his life like he’s always been here. Carving out a little Sykkuno spaced hole in his domestic life until it became bigger and bigger and bigger still. Corpse doesn’t think he’s ever felt this way about anyone before. He wakes up to find Sykkuno making tea in the kitchen and his heart feels so full, he thinks it’s going to give out.

He turns off the kitchen light. Sykkuno isn’t going to be back until later that night and he’s left some leftovers in the kitchen in case he’s hungry. Corpse heads to his desk with a glass of wine, sipping intermittently as he fiddles aimlessly with a track on his laptop. He doesn’t know when it began but he’s started to get antsy being alone in his apartment, having gotten used to having Sykkuno around all the time. He likes it more than he’d ever thought he would. He likes finishing recording a new video and heading to the couch where Sykkuno is almost always watching something huddled under a blanket. He likes getting into the blanket, likes it when Sykkuno bends down to give him a kiss, likes it when his back lets him lie down with his head on Sykkuno’s lap for a while, while his boyfriend cards sure fingers through his unruly hair. He likes it a lot more than he was prepared to. And he was prepared to like it a _lot_ , he thinks wryly.

The track isn’t really going in the direction he wants it to, but he keeps messing around anyway. It’s rare that he’s happy to explore without hating the end product and thinking about his lack of musical talent, so he basks in it. Besides, he’s been kind of distracted all day, thinking about everything and nothing. Mostly about Sykkuno, if he’s being honest. And how, In the two years they’ve been together, and in all the ways they’ve been intimate, they’ve never said the words. 

They haven’t needed to, he thinks. He knows they’re true without ever saying them out loud and so does Sykkuno. For all his effusiveness, it wasn’t in Sykkuno’s nature to express his feelings like that and Corpse has never found that lacking. He’d have to be a total idiot to not see that everything Sykkuno does is out of love. The warm mug of tea waiting for him when he wakes up, the way he gives Corpse notes on his lyrics even though it’s definitely not his kind of music. The way he lets Corpse hold him when he’s having an extra anxious day. The way he leads Corpse into a dance in the middle of the kitchen when Corpse is in a good mood, their laughter spilling into the sunlit walls. The way he grounds Corpse on one of Corpse’s many bad days, the way he knows when Corpse is stretching his body’s limits, the way he knows when to leave Corpse alone, the way he laughs at his jokes, his head thrown back, ever since Corpse had let it slip that Sykkuno had a beautiful smile and Sykkuno had believed it. _I trust you_ , he’d said. Corpse heard the words there: I love you. He doesn’t need to hear those words because they’re being said to him all the time. In all the ways he hadn’t known he was missing.

Until two days ago, that is. Two days ago, when they were unloading the dishwasher and Sykkuno suddenly kept the stack of plates aside and walked right up to Corpse, cupping his face with both palms, kissing him senseless before pulling back and grinning. “I love you,” he’d said, words rolling right off his tongue while Corpse stared at him, eyes wide.

And because Corpse was Corpse, he found himself saying, “I know,” smiling faintly.

“Okay, I see your Star Wars reference game, baby,” Sykkuno said. And that had been that. They went back to unloading the dishwasher like Sykkuno hadn’t just rocked his world.

The thing is, _the thing is_ , he’d meant to say “I love you too.” Because of course he had. And he does. He loves Sykkuno, he _knows_ he does. And he knows Sykkuno knows it too. But the moment was gone, and Sykkuno hadn’t brought it up again, probably out of his stupid habit of respecting Corpse’s boundaries, one that he was infinitely grateful for, except right this second. Now that the moment has passed he’s thought about it every which way and there’s no doubt. He loves Sykkuno. He’s probably always going to love Sykkuno right until they’re old and wrinkly, and isn’t that something?

Corpse shuts his laptop down, the track isn’t going to work tonight because he can’t focus to save his life. He cleans up his desk a little, before heading to their bedroom, getting under the blankets and giving his back some much needed respite after the long day.

By the time he hears Sykkuno come in, he’s relaxed and loose limbed, but awake. He hears his boyfriend putter around the house before making a trip to the bathroom. Corpse hears the shower and before he knows it, Sykkuno is tiptoeing into the room. He smiles, eyes still closed. “I’m not asleep,” he says and has the distinct pleasure of hearing Sykkuno squawk.

“You scared me!” Sykkuno exclaims and Corpse’s shoulders shake in quiet, unapologetic laughter.

“Sorry,” he murmurs, opening his blanket so Sykkuno can crawl in, icy feet and all.

He lets Corpse curl right into him and they turn to face each other, even as Sykkuno’s thumb flits over the arch of Corpse’s ear, warming him up from the inside.

Corpse sighs peacefully, before looking at his boyfriend. “Long day?” 

Sykkuno nods, looking tired, eyes half shut already and god, Corpse really does love him a stupid amount.

Corpse knocks his thumb softly on Sykkuno’s head, the corners of his mouth ticked upwards. “Brain working overtime?”

Sykkuno yawns and huffs out a tired laugh. “Could say the same for you,” he teases. “It was a good day though.”

“Good, I’m glad,” he says, pressing a chaste open-mouthed kiss where Sykkuno’s neck meets his collarbone. “I had a pretty good day too. Missed you though,” he admits.

Corpse feels the smile against his lips when Sykkuno kisses him, slow and sweet. Two years of this, but Corpse doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to the way his blood flows more like molasses when Sykkuno kisses him, all soft and patient, like they have all the time in the world.

“Guess you missed me too,” he chuckles, pulling back. Sykkuno smiles in acquiescence and Corpse is so in love he could die. “I was thinking,” he starts.

“Uh oh,” Sykkuno jokes.

“Always so fuckin’ rude,” he bites back, but it comes out more fond than anything else, making Sykkuno laugh.

“Okay, okay, I’m listening. No more jokes,” Sykkuno says, eyes completely open now.

“It’s nothing big,” he says, swallowing past an anxious lump in his throat. “Just wanted to say I love you,” he murmurs, feeling strangely vulnerable despite the fact that Sykkuno had said it first.

He takes a chance and looks at his boyfriend and the smallest, most private of his smiles, the ones he saves just for Corpse, makes its way across his face making his eyes crinkle and now that he’s looking, making them suspiciously shiny too.

“I know,” Sykkuno whispers, breaking some of the tension that had found its way to Corpse’s shoulders. Corpse lets out a quiet laugh, trailing off when Sykkuno’s thumb finds its way around to trace his lower lip with a reverence that makes him tear up if he thinks too hard about it. “I love you too,” he affirms, before kissing him with an aching sureness that Corpse is starting to believe he deserves.

Sykkuno pulls back and lets him get comfortable in a position where his back isn’t groaning in protest. He gets settled and sighs when he feels the other man’s fingers raking through his hair.

“Gonna fall asleep if you keep that up,” he warns, trailing off into a yawn.

“I think that’s the point,” Sykkuno says, a smile evident in his voice. “Go to sleep, I’ll be here when you wake up.”

He likes the sound of that, he thinks, before giving in to sleep.

***

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading, leave a comment/kudos if you enjoyed it! :)


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